Since writing about walking and Montessori, I have started to see more and more how opportunities to walk outside the house benefit Annabelle, especially when I let her take the lead. I have enjoyed following her lead on the way back to the car after the grocery shopping, or into the post office to check the mail. Letting her lead certainly means several detours along the way, but it’s well worth it. I have made it a goal to take at least a few minutes each day to be outdoors with Annabelle, where I can follow her lead. Since we don’t have a yard to speak of, this usually means a stroll around the neighborhood, or at least this half of the block, depending on how many circles she makes. I have already come to see several benefits of this practice. Some of them, in no particular order, include:

1. Modeling Respect

In everyday family life, there are countless activities that require adults to dictate the course of events. There are appointments to keep, errands to be run, and much that puts children at our whims. Our goals, however, mean little to our children, who have a completely different set of priorities based on their own stages of development. Stopping our own schedules to follow theirs shows that we respect what is important to them, too.

2. Connecting with Nature

So happy to be checking things out on her terms!

Of course time outdoors allows children to experience nature, whether they’re leading the way or not. Letting them take the initiative to explore, however, makes it so much more meaningful for them. Feeling the earth beneath their feet, having free reign to waltz from flower to flower and tree to tree, all on their own terms, makes for an entirely different level of connection. Not only does Annabelle get a chance to connect with nature during our walks, but I do, too. 

If there’s one thing I have learned since becoming a parent, it’s that my expectations are usually wrong. Just when I think Annabelle is fearless to a downright dangerous extent, she shows me that she knows when it’s important to be cautious. When she’s attempting something that requires a skill I don’t think she has developed yet, she surprises me with her newfound abilities, and sometimes, when I think she can easily handle something without me, she reaches out for my help. Going out with Annabelle in the lead allows me to see what catches her interest, what she’s hesitant about, which skills she has mastered and which she hasn’t. I have seen so much more of her personality unfold in these moments of watching without directing.

At this age, staying close gives our children the confidence to venture out and continue to grow their own sense of independence, secure in the knowledge that we are there if they need us. I can’t speak for other parents, but I know that there’s something about meeting a need, right when it arises, that seems to really strengthen the  connection between me and my girl, too. When a particularly noisy plane flies overhead, or a dog walks by, Annabelle often walks over and grabs on to my legs, apparently just for reassurance that she’s safe. Before long she’s off exploring again, and all is right with both her world and mine.

We prefer to take our walks in the evening, just before sunset and coming in to make dinner. This is the coolest time of day (well, except for early in the morning, but we’re not crazy enough to be out of bed then!), but it also happens to be the point in the day when I most need to gather up my patience once again and just breathe. Allowing Annabelle to take the lead eliminates the need for frustration on my part. I’m just following her. She also forces me to slow down, which is a great thing for me. I am the type who is always doing at least three things at once, and stopping to check out a fire hydrant or bat at a flower for a few minutes is not something I would generally allow myself to do. Taking a cue from Annabelle, I now get to do these sorts of things at least once a day. Relax, breathe, and notice the little things.