What’s New: Missing Daddy

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Annabelle, measuring and finding the window to be “Forty-two dollars!”

I feel like there’s a general sadness about our house due to the lack of daddy. It’s really pretty heartbreaking to see how much these children miss his presence. Annabelle keeps talking about how she wants him to hold her and snuggle her. When she was having a hard time getting a too snug shirt on, I offered to help and she would not have it, but told me instead that, “I want to get in the car and drive to the airport and fly to where my daddy is having his trip and go to his room and go in where daddy’s class is and sit on his lap and he can help me with my shirt.” She pointed out a tall, government building in the city yesterday, decided that was where her daddy works, and would not hear otherwise.

I’ve been missing him, too, of course, and feeling a lot drained, so I decided to ask for help. A sweet friend flew out from all the way across the country to stay with us for the rest of this absence, and it is wonderful to have another adult in the house! Annabelle has already declared her love for this new friend, and does not want to leave her side for anything. Elliot is pretty keen on her, too, so it’s great all around!

Care for a raspberry?

Care for a raspberry?

Not a lot is new on the family front as we’ve spent most of the past week preparing for our visitor and getting settled in with her. Yesterday we all went to the National Museum of American History, and today the kids and I are taking it easy and staying in while our friend is off museuming it on her own. Annabelle and I have been doing a lot of Spanish and a lot of yoga – both things you’ll see posts about later this week.

Elliot seems to be working hard to figure out how to crawl, and perhaps on getting another tooth as well. He tipped over several times today, far more than usual, as he seemed to be working extra hard to move his body in new ways. He continues to love these early explorations with food, with dried fruit being a recent favorite. It has proven to be the perfect thing to offer when we’re out and about and not set up for the full sensory experience that Elliot engages in with things like avocado. A wrinkly dried peach is a gift for sore, teething baby gums.

Annabelle has been inventing new activities for herself when she’s not hanging out with me or whoever happens to be around. I measured our windows so that I could buy fabric for curtains this week and for the rest of the day, Annabelle was walking around measuring anything she could find. She informed me, with apparent surprise, that the floor in the dining room was, “TWO hundred and FIFTY dollars!”

I seem to bounce back and forth in my search for balance, doing a lot of work on my own projects some weeks and more on the house and for the children other weeks. Eventually I’d like to find a happy place where I do some of both every week, but it’s a process. This week I did a lot of work on restoring order to the house, and that has a way of bringing me back to center so that I can be more effective elsewhere, but it doesn’t provide much fodder for updates. Thanks to Annabelle, though, even housework has been somewhat exciting. She has been very busy with the play dough this week, and each evening I seem to find a small masterpiece in some creative place or another: a windowsill, the mail slot, the basement door. It certainly makes cleaning house interesting!

What’s new in your house? Does one parent or another ever have to travel solo? How do the children handle it?

7 thoughts on “What’s New: Missing Daddy

  1. Amy @ Anktangle

    Aww, I can empathize with the Papa-missing, though of course on a much smaller (shorter) scale. There are just some moments when only he will do! Daniel also loves to measure things and to be “helpful” with household tasks like that. I can’t believe Elliot is almost crawling! Time sure is flying by.

    1. melissa Post author

      It’s fascinating to see what tasks appeal to them to help with, and which parts of the way we normally do those tasks stick out and are repeated, don’t you think? I’m sure Annabelle and Daniel could help in a pretty big way if we got them together ;)

  2. Janine

    I am still blown away by Annabelle’s speech. Sebastian has started on sentences but still – Damn, your girl has a lot to say! <3

    My husband is gone in very short spurts, no more than maybe 6 hours at a time. We're very lucky. But still, I'm surprised that Sebastian never complains. He occasionally asks for his dad but not in a sad way. He goes BANANAS when his dad comes home each day, even after a short grocery run or other errand. I hope it doesn't start getting sad!

    Having a girlfriend stay with just me and Bass for a few days actually sounds pretty heavenly!

    1. melissa Post author

      She’s definitely chatty! I don’t know where she gets it from! ;)

      It is awesome that your family gets so much together time, and that Sebastian is so enthusiastic about reunions even after short separations. If it hasn’t gotten sad, you’re probably good!

  3. Sandra

    Hi Melissa! I read your blog all the time, but never seem to get around to commenting! I love what you write and I am many times in awe how you manage to keep everything so “together”, even though I realise we only see snippets of your life. I have 2 sons, the oldest about a year older than Anabelle and the youngest 1 month older than Elliot. Daddy travels a lot for work in our house, and it can be a real challenge, especially since we have no family around and not many friends to truly rely in for help nearby. It can be tough on everyone, both with the missing and the lack of time to oneself (the parent). Hang in there!

  4. Rach

    It sounds hard. So glad you invited a friend. A couple of posts back you asked people for tips on how to manage everything, and I didn’t comment as I just though with HELP! Bit pointless suggesting it if not available…So really really glad your lovely friend could come. You are doing amazing things right there on your own but everyone needs a helping hand.
    LOL at the measuring in dollars, would love her to come and convert my sitting room floor into dollars!
    Hope the Dad is back soon. We rarely have nights away here, so no advice I’m afraid except cut right back on what you try to do.


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